Having a broken relationship especially a marriage is difficult to get over from and move forward. Everyone deserves love and to be happy. Failing in one relationship does not mean you will fail in all relationships, it just means you need to get up, review and plunge to the next relationship, of course bearing in mind the lessons learnt.
Many women in their twenties are looking for a spouse who will be their LIFE PARTNER. Although nowadays many more women are doing this in their 30’s, not a problem! Do you know yourself well enough to commit to a LIFE PARTNER? Are you able to be that kind of partner to someone else?
How many houses have you moved into in the last 15 years? How many jobs have you changed? How many best friends have you had? How many businesses have you started and shut down? How many times have you changed you colour scheme? How many hobbies have you started and stopped? How many times have you changed your favourite anything? So why do you imagine that you can always choose a LIFE PARTNER and get it right first time around?
Some people are clear on their life path early in life and actually follow through. Congratulations to these people for sticking and living their path. Not everyone has a straightforward life without twists and turns. By the way, don’t be jealous of such people, that’s their journey or maybe they chose to play safe, am not such a person so I would not know.
Some of us our journey has twists and turns and sometimes we end up at a dead end or precipice and need to reverse and redirect or perish. Does this sound familiar? Well people like me also survive and can actually be happy. The secret to weathering all these changes is choosing what is important to you? LOVE, HAPPINESS, MONEY, ADVENTURE, SECURITY, PEACE? Choose the important things and always use them as the gauge of whether you are successful or happy. I must state here that these important things may change each decade or so. Of course, faster changes could be a mental health issue; Schizophrenia and its associates…I’m just saying, life is not meant to change as fast as clicking a remote!
A LIFE PARTNER is someone you chose to share your life journey with and you share their life journey too. Typically, you intend to stay with this person for 40 plus years. So, what is the basis for making this choice? What was important to me in the 20’s may not be what is important to me now or what is important to me in the future. Why should I expect the same from someone else? Are you really who you were in the 20’s, 30’s or 40’s or 50’s ….
What I have come to realize is that you need to alert your LIFE PARTNER every time when you sense a shift in priorities to make sure that you both remain aligned. You are changing and so is he. Generally with a LIFE PARTNER you change together and a symbiotic and help each other to be the best you can be. No parasites! You value the relationship enough to make compromises. But compromises should not cause constant misery or be one sided! When you are honest with your LIFE PARTNER on what makes you happy at that particular time, and then it is easier for you and your partner to compromise, adjust or break up.
Break up sounds drastic but I am a firm believer that NO ONE WAS PLACED ON THIS EARTH TO BE MISERABLE. When you are constantly unhappy, you are in the wrong place maybe you need to reverse, re-evaluate or re-direct your life path. This decision should not be made hastily or without much reflection. When you make a decision that is right for you just do it. When you are unhappy, you become the grey cloud to everyone’s sunny day!
Pursuit for happiness is something that women need to make a priority. You don’t always need to be constantly responsible and duty-bound. When I say happiness, I don’t mean the fleeting, physical kind…. But the heart warming, constantly smiling, sharing and joy kind of happiness. I find that when you are honest to yourself on what makes you happy, you pursue this more and have an awesome life. You become the ray of sunshine!
Life is a journey and it is better to share it with someone. It is possible to fail in a relationship and find another LIFE PARTNER or be a new LIFE PARTNER to someone. Live in the NOW, and make it the best and happiest. It is your prerogative to change your mind and basically change. NO APOLOGIES!
Feminist, Realist, Survivor, Thinker